The Valium Chronicles: The Hairy Movember

Movember Moustache Styles (image source: http://www.bear-hairy-men.com

My son, Bubba, is 15.  He has a interesting sense of humour (I can’t imagine where he gets it from).  We just spent some quality time together at the hospital having his hand looked at.  He injured it playing football.  He’s about 1/2 the size (but with double the heart) of the other players, so it was inevitable that he’d get hurt.  He’s already had a concussion this year, which I wasn’t happy about due to his fancy brains being jiggled up. He’s upset now, because he can’t play any sports AT ALL for at least four weeks.  He asked so many questions at the hospital, several of which included the lovely ‘But Why?’ that I asked him if he was five or 15.  To my question he replied, ‘But WHY can’t I swim?’  From that last question, I assumed he was being five.

After the hospital, I took him out for a burger.  As we were sitting there, I noticed that his peach fuzz was starting to look like a hairy caterpillar.

‘Bubs, you need to shave.’

‘Its November. I’m doing Movember.’

‘Son, I have to break it to you.  You are not nearly hairy enough to do Movember.  Most likely you’d require Mo-sixmonthser. Possibly even Mo-fulleryearember’

‘I have to do Movember. I made a commitment.’

‘What do you mean you made a commitment?’

‘I’m on the website. I have $1.25 in sponsors.  Matan (his friend) gave me 5 Cents.’

‘Well, how generous of Matan.  Where did the other $1.20 come from?’

He grinned at me.

‘So, you sponsored yourself $1.20?  To grow a moustache?’

‘Well, I already have two supporters. I’m locked in.’

‘Who are your supporters?  Yourself and Matan?  You can’t support yourself.’

‘Well, I should get community service for school for doing Movember. Like a month’s worth. Its hard work growing this moustache.  And its for charity.’

‘You want a months worth of community service for attempting to grow a straggly, hairy caterpillar on your top lip, all the while raising $1.25?’

His grin got wider.  And more mischievous.  I realized, too late, that he was messing with me.

‘You are a pain in my ass, my son.’

‘Well, when I was born, I for sure pained your ass.’

‘You weren’t a pain in my ASS when you were being born.  You were a pain somewhere else.’

‘I’m sure your whole body hurt.’

‘Not really.  Not my whole body.  And not my ass.’  He was pushing it, so therefore, so would I.

‘Your ass probably hurt while you were birthing me.  I’m sure of it.’

I gave up.  Because it probably did.  But, that boy is SHAVING!

And in other news, my Noshember is over because Big J is home from his business trip.   Now, shaving my legs…THAT’S A PAIN IN MY ASS.

Posted by chickymara on November 4, 2011

https://beniceorleavedotcom.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/the-valium-chronicles-the-hairy-movember/