Boredom never ends well
So, I used to write a secret blog. In it, I wrote my most innermost thoughts. Much of it is not for public consumption.
When I go back and read these posts, they bring back snapshots of certain ‘interesting’ days that I had. Obviously I was bored when wrote this particular post.
(Probably we should clarify pretend that these situations are all hypothetical)
Is it gross…
…to pick and flick if you’re the one who has to vacuum it up?
…to eat multigrain tortillas (in the dark so the calories won’t count) that have fallen on the floor that was washed 3 days ago and that almost no one has walked on with their shoes?
…to eat leftover KD (or other moderately appetizing foods) off your kid’s friend’s plate if you use a clean fork and you try and stay to the side he didn’t touch?
…to kiss your dog on the mouth after she stole your underwear out of the laundry and then chewed it up?
…to try and get a cute teenage boy to notice you and think you’re hot when he should be thinking your daughter’s hot?
…to only wash your hands every other time you go to the bathroom because you have ‘dry skin’?
Now, I’m not saying I do those things..I just wanted to know if they’re gross.
Now, what I want to know is:
If you fart really loudly in bed and everyone’s asleep and you’re the only one who can smell it, did you really fart?
beniceorleavedotcom.wordpress.com 
Donna
/ April 13, 2011you make me LOL…
marci o'connor
/ April 13, 2011Quick, where is the un-follow button??!! Seriously, you are hysterical and brutal, and I can’t wait to room with you again this year at Blissdom ( I think!!)
Why Is Daddy Crying
/ April 13, 2011Flick the boogers in the air vents that way they’ll magically disappear
Never kiss your dog, that’s like going down on a $2 hooker
And the last time I washed my hands after going to the bathroom was in college on day 14 of a drinking binge I’ll always forget.
Keep up the awesome!
onecrazykid
/ April 13, 2011Oh man, you rock my world! I nearly snorted milk out of my nose, so now I make a note to self not to be drinking when I read your blog. LOL!
Jennheffer
/ April 14, 2011Oh dang!!! Funny, funny, funny!!!
Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)
/ April 14, 2011Hahahaha…I have been accused of showing off for my daughters friends who are boys!
Hahaha…maybe a few of the others too!
Pam @writewrds
/ April 14, 2011You’re hilarious, Mara! Thank you!
The thing I wonder about this whole boredom scenario is those three days.
See, if you pick and flick, then eat off the floor in the dark…with the dog, underwear, KD and teenage boy in or out of the equation… well there’s probably extra protein in it, right..?
(P.S. Bed farts burn calories.)
Gary Champagne
/ April 14, 2011Did we grow up together? Seriously? This was so funny! Thanks for the chuckle Sistah!
Cayla
/ April 19, 2011None of those things are gross…except the dog and the underwear thing, assuming it is dirty laundry. And the daugher/friend thing is a little creepy.
What about this:
Is it gross to cut the mouldy part off of a good cheese and then serve the newly de-moulded cheese to company?