Tradition…. Tradition. Passover at Our House

Every year we  debate whether to serve meat or chicken as the main course at Passover.  The meal, by tradition and definition is pretty massive already, with several ritualistic and traditional courses as part of the evening.

Passover is the re-telling of the Jew’s exit from Egypt after being enslaved by Pharaoh.  We hold two Seders (the word means ‘order’, as the evening’s proceedings follow a certain order), and we read from the Hagaddah,which means ‘to tell’, since we tell the story of our ancestor’s delivery from slavery in the land of Egypt.

In a nutshell, Moses, acting on behalf of the Big Kahuna himself, is sent to  convince his people to follow him right out of slavery, and hopefully to the Promised Land.  Ever polite, Moses asks the Pharaoh several times to ‘Let my people go.’  Helping out in the background is G-d, who sends any manner of what should be convincing messages (the plagues)  to Pharaoh to try to convince him to release the Jewish people from slavery.  Pharaoh is a stubborn monarch, and holds his ground until the last plague-the smiting of the first born. After that, he tells Moses to take his people and get the heck out.  And to do it fast, before he changes his mind.

Enter the Passover Seder, an in-the-home service and meal where we re-tell the story of the Exodus and eat ourselves silly.  Stretchy pants are de-riguer.

We are not very religious.  Or Seders take about 30 minutes (in other homes they can be up to two hours), and they are a bit chaotic, involving a lot of screaming, matzo throwing, and my older brother screaming out ‘Where’s Elijah’ in a Deep South accent.  But, we love our version of Passover. To me and my siblings, tossed around in our childhoods by divorce, tradition means everything. That means that we serve the EXACT same meal, year-over-year.  We use the same recipes, even though my mother tries to suggest, delicately, that we try something new.  But, in this we children hold firm.

So, back to the beginning and the moot debate about meat or chicken. I say moot because even though we discuss it, the menu does not change.   We serve both, and the meat’s always brisket, and the chicken is always Lemon Chicken.

I have to say, I’m like a Passover dictator.  I make almost all the food myself (Matzo ball soup, meat, vegetables, sides, even the desserts).  I carefully parcel out contributions to my family-I let someone bring the Gefilte fish, and my brother makes the chicken.  My sister rocks the Charoset, and I’ll let just about anyone boil and peel the eggs to be served in salt water.

But, other than that, its all me. It’s truly a challenge to make amazing food when you follow the restrictions imposed by the Passover ban on anything leavened or that expands (you can’t even eat mustard). But, I do believe that I’m the master. Especially, when it comes to Brisket.  Everyone says theirs is the best, but mine truly is.  And, I don’t even have to brag about my frozen lemon meringue cake.  The fact that it always gets finished, even after a 5000 calorie meal speaks for itself.  Here’s a post with the recipes for both.

If you can wrangle an invite to a Seder, you should do it.  According to tradition, we’re supposed to have someone there who has no better place to be, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find yourself a seat at a Passover table.

Oh, did I mention that we are REQUIRED to drink four glasses of wine during the Seder?

Happy Passover!

For more Passover posts:

The Worthington Post

Momfluential 

Kosher Shopaholic

Out of the OrthoBox 

Ima on and Off the Bimah

I’ve Been Dumped for a New Model

someecards.com - Thanks for dumping me. I'm off to the tropics.

My husband has dumped me for a new girl.  And I’m thrilled.

He can’t wait to see her, and rushes home early from work to climb on her back.   He likes to polish her chrome and caress her till all hours of the night.

He’s been buying her gifts, and dresses up in fancy leather jackets just for her.

He even asked me to take a picture of them together.  The nerve.

my husband sitting on his new true love, his motorcycle

My husband and his lover

You’re thinking Midlife Crisis.  Well, that would make sense, except that this isn’t the first time he’s had one of those.  He’s had a 1/3 life crisis, a five years after that crisis, and now this one.

We’ve been through guitar lessons, professional photography, kite boarding, running and cycling.  Usually, if I humour him, his interests seem to burn themselves out pretty quickly, even though they quickly drain our (not) disposable income.

This is the second time the motorcycle, or as I like to call it, ‘my road to riches from insurance money’, has entered the equation.  The first time I was able to nag talk him out of riding the hog  This time, not so much.  Maybe I’m losing my touch.  Because while I didn’t actually give my blessing, I protested the bike in such a milquetoasty way that he chose to interpret my apathy as acquiescence.

Anyways, there really are more pros than cons to this motorcycling, when I look at it from my perspective (isn’t it always about me?).

And, since obviously, I’m going to have to ride this one out (get it?) I’m  look over the rainbow reflecting off the Zayde’s Angels Patch he’s sporting on the back of his jacket, and straight into ‘how does this thing benefit me’ land.

The cons:

  1. Its really dangerous.
  2. He’ll be gone a lot on the weekends (oh, wait, that might be a pro)
  3. Its expensive (oh wait, that might be a pro also)

The Pros:

  1. He’ll be having a lot of ‘HE’ time.  I won’t have to feel guilty when I want to go to yoga, or get manicures or go shopping for hours or merely hang at the BFF’s.
  2. He’ll be having a lot of  ‘HE’ time and will be feeling guilty about it (because I will make him), and will thus have to make it up to me.
  3. He bought himself a motorcycle.  That covers the next 40 years of birthdays, anniversaries, and Fathers Days.
  4. He bought himself a motorcycle.  He cannot object to anything I want to buy myself for the next 40 years or so.
  5. Since he’ll be riding his motorcycle, the daughter will no longer nag me for my car, and I won’t be trapped at home.
  6. Since he’s got himself a solitary totally narcissistic hobby called the motorcycle, he cannot harass me about mine, which is Twitter.
  7. This motorcycle give me eternal AMMUNITION.  ‘You bought a motorcycle..so…’

See, way more Pros than Cons. That’s how our marriage rolls.  Give and take. And manipulation.

Sayonara Easy Rider, I’m off to the Spa.

A Woman of Substance and Grace

Gladiolus:strength of character

There is in every true woman’s heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.

WASHINGTON IRVING, The Sketch Book

Today is International Woman’s Day.  Today I  share a story about a woman that I truly admire. Whose quiet strength, warmth, and kind nature inspires me.

Last year, my daughter was sick. The kind that gets a mom worrying, and where you go to the hospital, where you’re laying awake at night thinking about it.

I tweeted out that I was really worried about my girl, about her abdominal pain, and that the doctors and hospitals didn’t know what was wrong with her.

Within minutes, I received a response from Heather Hamilton, also known as @TJZMommy.  She said something to the effect of, ‘I’m very familiar with stomach problems. My son has spent some time at the hospital.  Here’s my number. Call me.’

CALL ME.  I don’t even think I’d met Heather once.  We’d tweeted a few times, but were really mere acquaintances.  She reached out to me, when I was scared and worried.

CALL ME.  Her son, Zackie had more than been in the hospital a few times.  He was born with a genetic abnormality and had spent MONTHS in hospitals.

CALL ME.  Her own son was sick at the time and was to pass away about two weeks later.  But, she still took the time to talk to ME, whose child was going to get better.

CALL ME.  Heather spent an hour on the phone, calming me down and sharing her wisdom.

I will never forget that phone call, never forget that day.  

When you meet Heather, she exudes a warmth and strength that belies the struggles she has encountered.  She meets you, and every situation, with a quiet elegance.  What strikes me the most is her ability to take a situation that might break someone else, like the loss of her beautiful child, and turn it into an opportunity to help someone else, to give, to share, to make someone else’s struggle less.

And so she begat Zack’s Dream Room, in support of York Central Hospital. The Hamilton’s dream was to raise $25,000 to cover the renovations of a paediatric room at the hospital.  The room would be decorated with an Elmo theme, to remember Zack’s most favourite character.    Immediately, fundraising began, and in a very short time, the initial goal of $25,000 was reached.  Heather upped the ante and set her eyes on a second room renovation. Friends, colleagues, acquaintances all banded together and the next target was quickly reached. But, Heather didn’t stop there.  She continues to remember, raise money, and spread the joy of her son’s too short life.

Heather is now experiencing the anniversary of her son’s last fight. She is sharing her experiences on her blog, writing her stories with both love and sadness, but also healing.

Heather is someone I admire.  She is a woman of substance, of grace, of true beauty that comes from within.

The next Zach’s dream room event is on March 18th, where the Hamilton Family is screening ‘Being Elmo:  A Puppeteer’s Journey‘ a documentary about the creation of the character  Elmo.  To purchase tickets, or make a donation to Zack’s Dream Room, click the picture.  

Elmo, Zack's dream room

When Bullying has Become a Buzzword

pink shirt day to stop bullying and anti-bullying

Stop Bullying

I don’t know anyone-child or adult-that doesn’t have a bullying story. I talked about bullying before here. And, just after the Oscars, I wondered if commenting on weight is bullying.

I’ve been bullied. My kids have been bullied. My friends have been bullied. The children of my friends have been bullied. Like actually been bullied. As in, ‘I don’t want to go back. I’m afraid’ bullied.

Unfortunately, though, that’s not always the case when the word is used, or rather overused. I’m concerned that we’ve lost sight of what true pervasive malicious meanness is.

We’ve forgotten that in this world, sometimes people say mean, teasing, or stupid things. And that’s not bullying. That’s just life. Crappy, dorky, normal, everyday life.

Accusing someone of bullying has become a tool for kids to get someone in trouble. Employing phrases like anti-bullying measures and zero tolerance have become a way for people to pay lip service to stop bullying without really doing anything. All the wolf-crying is diluting the message. And children are suffering in so many ways.

I’m so scared the word bullying is losing steam, and the true horrible destructive nature of the action will get lost amongst its buzzword-ness. That scares me.

I had to threaten to call the police before the school stopped another boy from kicking and punching my son to the point he wouldn’t go to school anymore. That’s bullying.
 
Boys told my kid his shirt was funny looking. That’s not bullying. Its just mean.
 
I was FIRED from a job by the very person that was tormenting me at work. She stayed, I went. That’s bullying.
 
My kids observed other kids making fun of SPECIAL NEEDS kids. Nobody said anything. That’s bullying.
 
A girl told another girl she wasn’t invited to her party and couldn’t sit at their table for lunch. That’s not bullying. Its just mean.
 
A teenager spread rumours that a boy was gay and posted it all over Facebook. That’s bullying.
 
A car full of teenage girls drove by another girl, laughed at her, then drove off. That’s not bullying. Its just mean.

I’m GLAD people will wear pink tomorrow to make us aware that we have to DO something. But, I hope they don’t think wearing a t-shirt is actually DOING SOMETHING. We’re all aware that we, as a society, have a problem. But, the the solution is hidden in what we as human beings do after we take the t-shirt off.

What can you ACTUALLY do to stop bullying?

1. Teach your children NOT to bully. Teach and MODEL kindness, compassion, empathy, and acceptance for ALL people.

2. TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND! Everybody’s kid screws up! If you know your child is being nasty, TAKE CARE OF IT! You aren’t doing your precious flower any favours by not seeing their weaknesses as well as their strengths. If your child is bullying at school, they are obviously in need of help from you, their caregiver. Do your JOB.

3. Teach them that COOL kids are not the bystanders, but those who stand up for others. Let them know that being a bystander is JUST AS BAD as being a bully.

4. Let school administrations know that ZERO tolerance doesn’t mean ‘we’ll investigate.’ Controlling destructive behaviour is not the time to be politically correct. We’re growing up people, and we need to teach them that there are consequences, not just conversations.

5. Teach your children to advocate for themselves, and not be afraid to tell. Take the power back from the bully.

6. Teach your children the life skills they’ll need to manage not nice people, and help them to discern between bullying and meanness. Give them the tools to answer to nasty words, and the power to rise above. Encourage them to seek out friends who will value them and stick up for them, as opposed to those who may blow like the wind when the opportunity arises.

I’m still wearing pink on this February Leap Year Day. Because I believe we have a problem. Its a mean world we seem to have created. And it’s got to stop. We need more than awareness. We need action.

For more information, go to PINK SHIRT DAY.CA

What do you think? What are you doing to stop bullying?

Let’s link up to other posts about bullying. Please put yours in the comments or send me a message and I’ll put a link.

Whispered Inspirations

Notes from the Cookie Jar

Did You Know Canada

Multi-Testing Mommy 

Thrifty Mommas Tips

My Real Review 

Shasher’s Life

PhD in Parenting

What’s Really Sexy: The Truth About Marriage

Snow Heart

Ever think about why some people stay married (or in relationships) and others don’t?

Well, I do.

I’ve been married for almost 19 years to a not particularly romantic guy.  We’ve actually been together for what will be 22 years come May.  That’s a loooooooooooooong time.

Before I started dating the young fella who was lucky enough to marry me, I’d never had a relationship longer than 3 months.  I used to go for the BAD BOYS. You know the type.  The ones who’d say things like:

‘I’m breaking up with you. Its not you, its me.’

‘I know its two weeks before your prom, but I just need a break, ya know, to find myself.’

or, howabout, ‘I need the freedom to follow The Dead.  I can’t be worrying if I need to call you or something.’

This was the last one before I met my husband, and the reason I went for a ‘NICE GUY’ finally:  ‘Its not that my boss necessarily wants to date me, but its more that my friend says I shouldn’t be so tied down by a girlfriend right now.’

Its evident that I had great taste.  In jerks. I could spot them a mile away by their asshole attitude and carefully ripped jeans.

I was having a chat with my manicurist today (I have fake nails and I’m not gonna lie, they’re awesome).  She is this absolutely STUNNING Italian woman, who is, at 34, still single.  She’s been through the rounds of dating and refuses to settle just to get that white picket fence. She’s not overly picky, and in fact, can’t understand women who are looking, fruitlessly, for the imaginary trifecta comprising the perfect man:  money, personality and great abs.

She just wants a fair, respectful, and equal relationship, along with a little love magic, and hasn’t found it yet.  Anyways, we were talking about marriage and relationships and why people split up, and why people stay.

‘I think people mistake lust for something that’s permanent,’ she pointed out.  ‘That fades, and when its gone, they want to leave. Lust doesn’t last 30 years, but companionship, friendship-those do.’

I agreed.  ‘The grass isn’t always greener.  What happens when you find a new lust and then in a few years that burns out too.  What do you do?  Keep leaving?’

We commiserated.  Then, I told her what my husband had done for me just that day.

‘This morning, I went to turn my automatic starter on to warm up the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape all the snow off, and you know what the Man did?  He cleaned all the snow off the car and moved it into the garage.’

She laughed.  ‘That’s amazing.  What I’d like to say is Why shouldn’t he?  But I know that most men would never have thought to do that.’

‘You’re absolutely right’,  I replied. ‘That’s the reason I married him.  No matter how annoying he is 43% of the time, he always thinks of me.  It’s the small things that remind me why I fell in love with him the first time he kissed me.’

We both sighed.

So, back to the beginning, here’s my take on why people stay and why people leave.  Marriage is hard work.  Really, its all about being around one person for a long time, and having to make decisions together and raise people, and handle money, and go through ups and downs and love handles and muffin tops and temptation and the green grass on the other side.   That stuff is not sexy.  And, a lot of sex but no talking, and only caring about yourself and your own happiness just isn’t going to cut the mustard.

Marriage is about compromise, and a lot of thinking about the other person before yourself. When you both do that, everybody is taken care of just fine.

Personally, I think people have got to get a little boring sometimes.  Be happy laying in bed together watching TV (I’ve been with this man for 22 years and we have a TV in our bedroom and we’re STILL together).  Be happy just hanging out.  Be comfortable in your own skins and each others.  Don’t hold a grudge, and understand that there is no way in hell you can ever like someone all the time.

Lastly, I’d like to point out to all the men that moving the car into the garage during a snowstorm, that right there turns you into a sex machine more than any abs could ever do. Besides, abs only last as long as you keep doing sit-ups. But, being a Mensch is forever.

Brother, cheap airfare isn’t always a bargain

Interesting choice for in-travel entertainment

I am planning a trip next December to Israel for my son’s Bar Mitzvah.  My whole family is going.  When I say whole family, I mean mother, and stepfather, stepfather and his wife (can you call her a stepmother if she’s your first stepfather’s new wife?), brother with sister-in-law and their four kids, sister with brother-in-law and their boy, and of course my husband and my own three kids.

Its quite a posse.

My other sisters aren’t coming because one of them has four kids and can’t envision the trek to Israel with all of them, and another is going herself next June for my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah, but along with a group from her husband’s family.  My husband’s family isn’t coming for similar reasons (his sister, though has FIVE kids, and brother is going the December after.)

Are you confused?

My older brother is torn of whether or not to come.  He can’t decide. But, in a moment of boredom, he started researching flights and prices.

He excitedly called me

BB (big brother):  I’m not saying I’m coming, but I’m looking at some flights.

Me:  oh yea?

BB:  I can get an Alitalia flight with one stop for $3500 business class.

Me: Are you nuts?  You’e going to spend $13,000 on airfare?

BB:  Isn’t it more comfortable?  Oh wait.  Here’s one.  Aerosvit.  Business class is on sale for $1500.

Me:  Aerosvit?  Are you kidding?  Business class on Aerosvit probably means you get a seat instead of sitting in cargo.  I’ll bet the planes are 80 years old.

BB:  But, its business class.

Me:  Remember that airplane that crashed in Russia? That was probably Aerosvit.

BB:  Oh, come on!  It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

And then…he googled ‘Aerosvit Reviews’

This was the first review that that came up after http://www.airlineequlaity gave it one star:

Reviews of Aerosvit

As if that wasn’t enough, this traveller had some choice words to say on Lonely Planet:

Upon some reflection, he’s not flying Aerosvit.  Tempting as it sounds.

Do you have any funny travel stories?

I’m Sorry Dear, You Can’t Celebrate Singles Awareness Day

Poor cupid has shot himself in the heart

Today is the un-Valentines Day for me, otherwise known as Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D), or in my husband’s mind, ‘Just a regular day to nap with Space Channel in the background’.

According to UrbanDictionary.com:

February 14th: the day that every single man realizes “Damn, I forgot to get a girlfriend.” Usually the wiser of the men realize this days ahead based on the many pink and red hearts and fluffy overpriced things found as they go to purchase their beer, or perhaps whilst sitting on the couch enjoying the rerun of ‘Independence Day’ realizing that every other television advertisement contains the word ‘love’ or a suggestion to the holiday most refer to as “Valentine’s day.

How Valentines Day (S.A.D.) plays out in my house:

Weeks before…

Me: so, dear, love of my life, soulmate, heart-of-my-hearts, what are you getting me for Valentine’s Day?

Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?

Me: No reason

Days Before….

Me: So, husband-of-19 years, changer of lightbulbs, putter inner of windshield washer fluid, long-suffering designated driver, what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?

Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?

Me: no reason.

The day before Valentine’s Day.

Me: so, sperm donor, do I at least get a card and chocolate, maybe some flowers?

Him: (looks up from a Motorcycle magazine aka man-porn) If I get you chocolates you’ll complain for weeks that you shouldn’t have eaten them and then you’ll be mad at me.

Me: True. What about the other two?

Him: If I get you flowers, they’ll die. They’re a waste of money.

Me: Not true, faulty argument. But go on.

Him: If I buy you a card, all I’ll write in it is ‘Love Jack’ and then you’ll complain I’m not sensitive enough and don’t share my feelings.

Me: (thinking) Well, that is partially true, although I do usually give you props for trying. Even when you buy me cards that reference my bosoms, include language like ‘Humena Humena’ and have pictures of monkeys winking lasciviously, I truly appreciate the effort. Really, the only time I actually complained was when you got me a card from the Dollar Store with a Teddy bear holding balloons on it and reading, ‘To my friend on Valentines Day.’ You did not get any points for that one.

Him: I told you, I didn’t have my glasses. It looked cute all blurry. At least I got you a card…

Me: (Rolling my eyes) Remember the days when you’d meet me at the airport with a huge bouquet of flowers? And the time you got me diamond earrings for Valentines Day? And also when I was at work and you sent a cookie-gram, flowers, and balloons?

Him: (grimacing, and probably remembering what a sucker he was in the courting phase) I think so. (of course he’s admitting nothing)

Me: Well, I want that.

In all seriousness, I think we should show people we love them all the time, not just on the day that Hallmark made. That’s the secret to long-lasting relationships, be they marriages or even friendships. That, and the fact that you can’t like someone all the time. But, that’s another post.

But…flowers and maybe a something shiny would be nice…I mean, not mandatory, but…

someecards.com - When I married you, pyjamas, TV and a some loud snoring were exactly how I envisioned my Valentines Days

The Birthday Meat Feast Part 2: Chicky’s Fingers

This isn't a restaurant

Generally, my philosophy.  But, I have 20 nieces and nephews, 2/3 of them under the age of 12.  Several of them were descending upon us to help ring in the age of the driver.  And, to them, Chili made 2 ways is not the dinner of champions.  I needed another choice of vittles to feed them at The Studly 16th.

I thought about what the Birthday Boy used to eat for the two years he was stuck on just fruits and vegetables until he ingested a plastic bag and we found out he had PICA.  The only protein we could get into him, besides Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, was Chicken nuggets/fingers.  (The story of the Dinosaur burgers and how we got him to eat ground meat is for another post). So, based on past success with tiny people, I settled on  Chicky’s Fingers

Not to be conceited, but these poultry digits are really good.  The childrens were beating on each other for them (well, not really, but that’s what it sounded like. I could swear, as my kids get older, my tolerance for small humans gets lesser.)

What You need:

Chicken breasts, boneless, cut into 2-3″ strips.  However many you need.  Or even way more.

In a big bowl, toss the chicken strips with salt and pepper and flour to lightly dust.

Scramble up 3 eggs (per 5 chicken breasts) in a bowl and add about 1/4 cup milk. Stir.

Shake excess flour of chicken, dip in egg, and then dip in fancy shmancy breadcrumbs. These ones are the best because they have dehydrated potato flakes in them, as well as I’m not sure what else but they’re fabulous.

The absolute best breadcrumbs

I get them from a kosher grocery store near me, but you can use a combination of italian breadcrumbs mixed with Panko crumbs.

Heat up about 1″ of vegetable oil in a large skillet and par-fry the chicken fingers until golden on each side.

The assembly line

Lay in a single layer on a parchment covered cookie sheet.  Bake for 15 -20 minutes at 375 degrees.

Chicky's Fingers

The best part?  They freeze great! (If you’re lucky and there’s a few left….)

Dessert was Dairy Queen Ice Cream cake, Red Velvet cupcakes from Costco, and…

Cheater Brownies

Purchase a box of Ghirardelli Brownie mix from Costco

Taste like home made (or probably better)

Follow the directions.  Add sprinkles on top before baking to make it look like they’re home made.  (if you want to be very fancy, mix a whole bunch of sprinkles together. Well, that’s the party line, but really, I had all kinds of sprinkles in little tiny bags and my husband mixed them up in a container.  He’s smart, I think.)

Once, my sister mixed mashed bananas into these and they were even better than delicious.  I think the word for that is scrumptious.

Bake, cut, serve.

Let's just pretend I made these

Next stop, We’ve got an 18th birthday coming up.  And, she likes pasta.  Oh, the possibilities….

On My Son’s 16th Birthday

Mother & Son by Stephen Armstrong

There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart.

– Washington Irving , writer

Sixteen years ago today, on January 30, 1996, at 3:55 pm, a little baby boy with big ears was born. He was expected the week before, on January 23, but found himself way too comfortable in his neonatal man cave. Then, he was supposed to be ejected induced on January 29, but the doctor went MIA (Even docs get the flu). Finally, and completely in character, as once he’s made up his mind to do something he just does it, he burst out into the world after less than two hours of labour. Sixteen years ago today.

He enthralled his sister, who at 21 months, made sure everyone knew he was her ‘baby brudder and no touching’. A completely contented baby, he would sit for hours just staring at the world or playing quietly with his toys. Mornings were spent contentedly lounging with his his sister on their little kiddie sofa, where they would watch videos and suck back their bottles and sippy cups like they were ice cold beers. Of course, his first word was Barney, the stuff of every parent’s nightmares if they were populated by purple dinosaurs.

This boy / man is an oxymoron. He is the most mild mannered stubborn person I’ve ever met. His best friend for the first 7 years of his life was a girl, because she told him so, and he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

He has the kindest, warmest heart, yet refuses to judge those who don’t hold the same standards. I’m not entirely convinced its that he doesn’t care, but rather that he feels everyone is allowed their own values and opinions, even if they don’t coincide with his own.

He is slow to take action, but when he does, he barrels forward full throttle. At 10 months, he let go and just walked. Just like that, and eliciting a string of surprised cuss words from me as his tiny little feet just took him where he wanted to go. That modus operandus has been repeated over and over. From taking up hockey years after his peers, to switching camps on a whim, to achieving academic excellence. Once he decides to go for it, both feet are in. But, the opposite holds true as well. If he doesn’t want to, he won’t, and you can’t make him. Oxymoron.

There’s mischievousness in there too, amongst the goodness. The naughty fairy visited our home over and over with childish pranks that were more creative than devilish. But, no matter how hard he tried to be bad, he just couldn’t do it. He always owned up, apologized, was contrite.

He has many interests. But doesn’t pursue them to be the best, but rather for the enjoyment. He plays sports for the love of the game, not for the love of the win. He bangs his drums, strums the guitar, tinkles the ivories. He rode the Pokemon craze, spun his Beyblades, flew around on a skateboard, then took up with a Bonsai Tree for a time. Why? Because it seemed interesting.

He’s mean to his brother. And then, he takes him outside to teach him to catch a football, handle a Lacrosse stick, maybe talk to the ladies. I don’t ask what they’re doing, because that’s what brothers do. He has never had a fight with his sister, which I still find weird, since my brother used to beat the bedevil out of me.

He loves his mother and isn’t shy to let anyone know it. He surprises me everyday with sweetness and light. He holds me to a higher standard, and drives me to be better-not to judge, not to gossip, not to pry.

He is going to be a great man. I’m proud to call him my middle son. Happy Birthday.

The Valium Chronicles: The Unspoiling of my People

someecards.com - I'm the Queen of Your World not the Slave of Your Abode

Instead of being a domestic goddess, I’ve become a NAG-erina.  Instead of being the mom-about-town career woman, I’ve become a slave to a team of moderately grateful humans and canines.  An invisible shadow of competence and cleanliness is what I seem to be, more of a housework fairy and invisible dish stacking demon than smiling Empress of the Apron.  What the heck, you ask?  This is so out of character!  But, since I became the BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD  I have had to somehow overcome my housework allergy and jump in to Operation Housewife with both feet plus the rest of me.

I can safely say, after two weeks of humungous messes left by 2 am snacks, egg dried on frying pans, and what seems like 9000 loads of dirty laundry (I reiterate, how many towels can five people actually go through?), that I am ready to UNSPOIL my family (commonly known to regular people as doing your part or helping out).

The first step in the process was the creation of my House Rules (can you see the eponymous Be Nice or Leave magnet at the top?) written on my kitchen white board.

Some caveats:

  1. These House Rules are neither fixed, nor exhaustive, and will certainly change with time.
  2. While some of the items seemed obvious (such as the fact that dishes do not in fact have the magical powers necessary to place themselves in the dishwasher), I am bound to restating them so there can be no ambiguity.
  3. These House Rules are intended to remind you that I am not your slave, but rather the Queen of your Worlds.
  4. I really don’t care if you make your beds, since I never make mine (see, at least I’m not a hypocrite).
  5. You people who live in my house mayn’t think I’m serious, but  you’ll see when you have no underpants or clean plates.
  6. The ‘Chores’ category is suitably vague as my needs for assistance may vary from day-t0-day.
  7. Assisting me does not include starting projects that make even bigger messes and then not finishing them (such as this mess left by the Father-of-my-Children who decided to clean out the junk cupboard in the kitchen but then got distracted for 2 weeks)

This is NOT how you clean up a mess

I’m sure that once the Unspoiling begins to take effect, the whole household will be a lot happier.  Especially me.  Which is all that really matters, right?

PS:  As you can see, I collect witty magnets.  Please feel free to send me any that you happen upon.