My life is different this Passover.  There’s someone missing. The person who taught me to love food, to feel it smell it taste it , is gone.  It’s hard to imagine having a Passover Seder without my father. He was a grumpy pain-in-the-butt.  But, his huge presence filled the room. He loved the family time, and to hear the kids read from the Haggadah. And, even though he wasn’t a religious or even traditional man, he still was crazy for the traditional Jewish foods:  Gefilte fish, Matzoh Ball Soup, and my Brisket.  When I cooked for two days for this meal, it was always with him in mind.  And, that’s why I decided to boycott Passover. 

How I was going to do this, I wasn’t sure. I figured that I would just put it out there, and whoever was managing my life that day would make it happen.  The fates came through for me with an email that said, ‘Our quarterly Management Meeting will be in Vancouver on April 19th.’  I read that email with both elation and dread.  The former because it would solve my boycott conundrum, and the latter because I would have to tell my mother that not only would the Seder not be at my house,  I wouldn’t be at the Seder. 

This is what I said to my mother:

“IhaveameetinginVancouverrightinbetweenthefirstandsecondsedersandIhavetogo

becauseIjuststartedmyjob (take a breath)

andJandItalkedaboutitandhesaysitsoksoI’mgoingsodontsayanythingitsalreadydone.”

She said, “OK. I understand.  I’ll do it. I will have the Seder at my house.”

After I fainted, I asked, “My family will still come.  What would you like me to make?”

Now, a bit a of background, I’m a bit of a Jewish holiday control freak (its not really appropriate to call me the Brisket Nazi).  I like it the way I like it.  I usually have everything at my house (grumbling the whole time that its a big mess, every one is ungrateful, yadda yadda).  I’ve established unbreakable traditions;  we eat the same foods at every meal, year after year.  My brisket is LEGENDARY, so obviously, that’s what she asked me to make.  Since I was given the opportunity to boycott Passover, I thought I would share the recipe, just in case you aren’t and you need to impress people with minimal effort.

Two days before:

Slice two HUGE Vidalia onions.  Place 1/2 of them in a large roasting pan.  Flip a 5-6 lb beef brisket over to the yucky side. (You’ll know it when you see it).  Season very generously with 1 tbsp at least of chopped garlic, and then some salt, freshly ground black pepper, and Paprika.  Flip over and throw that slab of meat in the roasting pan on top of the onions.  Repeat on the top of the brisket, then spread the rest of the onions on top. 

Key Brisket Ingredients

In a large measuring cup, ix up 1 pkg onion soup mix, a big splurch of ketchup (probably 1/2 cup), about 1 1/2 cups of dry red wine (pour a cup for yourself while you’re at it-some for meat, some for Momma), and 1 1/2 cups of orange or apple juice (orange works best, or even those tropical blends are delicious).  Pour over the brisket.  Cover and refrigerate.

Not Passover?  Add some mustard, any kind, although the hotdog mustard works best, to the measuring cup. How much, well, you know, a big splurch (maybe 1/4 cup).

The Day Before:

Remove from fridge and let sit out 1/2 hour.  Roast in a slow oven (325 degrees or even 300 degrees depending on your oven).  Keep it covered so that the liquid doesn’t evaporate and the meat stays moist.  Check every two hours and if the liquid is almost gone, add more orange juice and some water.   The brisket should take about 4-5 hours to cook.  It’s done when you place a fork in the thickest part and the fork comes out easily when removed.  Its not done when the meat lifts with the fork. (There I spelled it out for you.)  When done, remove from oven and cool overnight in the fridge.

The Day you want to eat it:

Take the roast out of the fridge.  If there’s fat hardened, take it off (gross).  Remove the meat from the pan, scraping  all the now-carmelized onions back into the roasting pan.  Slice thinly with an electric knife or very sharp knife, against the grain.  If you slice and its all stringy, you’re going the wrong way.  Reheat in the pan juices.  Serve on a platter with the juices and onions on top.  Delicious with red horseradish.

Note:  if you want to eat it on the same day as you cook it, then its totally fine.  Its easier to slice when cold, and also, you can scrape of the extra fat when its cold.  But, do what you need to do. Its just meat for goodness sakes.

Since I’m leaving the day before, all I’ve got for you is the uncooked photo.  Use your imagination for the rest, or even better, send me a picture of YOUR completed meaty masterpiece.

ChickyMaras famous (in my head) Brisket

By the way, I’m actually really sorry that I’m missing  Passover now.  I definitely have boycotter’s remorse.

Added later due to popular request…

Passover Lemon Pie (aka the only thing my family will eat after eating 17 courses at a Seder)

Crust:

Crush 1 box of passover mandelbread in the food processor (or make your own and crush to about 2 cups worth).  Mix with 1/2 cup melted butter or margarine and press into the bottom of a springform pan. (hint: if you line the bottom with parchment, you can easily lift out later to serve).

Note: if its not Passover and/or you’re not of the Passover celebrating religion, you can substitute Nilla wafers for the crust (or even chocolate chip cookies)

Filling:. 

Place 6 whole eggs, 6 egg yolks, 1 cup fresh lemon juice, the zest of 1 lemon, and 2 cups of sugar in the top of a double boiler (to make your own double boiler, boil water in a med pot and place a metal bowl on top.) Whisk over a slow boil and low heat until the mixture begins to thicken (its like magic).  Set the lemon curd aside to cool.  Beat 6 egg whites for about 2 minutes in a stand mixer or with a hand mixer.  Add 6 tbsp of sugar and beat until soft peaks form.  Fold into the cooled lemon curd.

Pour the lemon/egg white mixture into the prepared crust and freeze overnight or 12 hours.

Meringue:

Beat 6 eggs whites until foaming, then add 5 tbsp sugar slowly until stiff peaks form.  Cover the frozen lemon pie with meringue, making it look fancy by swirling and twirling the meringue.  Broil until golden brown (or if you’re me until you smell burning)

Refreeze until you’re ready to serve.